My Celebrity Playlist

I was bored this afternoon and decided to play with my iTunes library. As a college student, I am addicted to my iPhone, but particularly to the iPod feature. I also love my Pandora and AOL radio apps, but that's a topic for another blog. Listening to music helps me to respond to the literature I read and the history I study. In fact, my favorite way to de-stress (which my roommates often mistake for brooding) is to turn all the lights off, light a candle, and blast old-school Johnny Cash. It may seem counterproductive, but sometimes forcing yourself to feel worse works paradoxically to make you feel better.

Today when browsing, I discovered this feature on iTunes called "Celebrity Playlist." Basically a celebrity tries to promote the latest season of their TV show or the opening weekend of their latest movie by giving readers a peek into their iTunes library in the hopes that readers will not only watch said TV show or movie, but also buy said music. It's a shameless form of self-promotion. The celebrity tries to appear edgy and current by picking the most obscure music possible. But since music is so personal, maybe the obscure music is a way for the celebrity to safeguard what little privacy they still possess?

For my playlist, I did not intentionally pick music that makes me appear edgy or sophisticated, just music that speaks to me right now. So here it is.

My If-I-Were-A-Celebrity-But-Hope-To-God-I-Never-Become-One-Playlist.

1. "Lemon Tree" by Peter, Paul, and Mary: An absolutely beautiful portrayal of love and innocence lost that perfectly encapsulates my life at this moment in time.

2."A Good Man is Hard to Find (Pittsburgh)" by Bruce Springsteen: I've loved the boss since I discovered my parent's copy of his Greatest Hits CD at age 10. In this song Bruce tells the tale of a doomed romance amidst the backdrop of a decaying steel town.

3. "Wishing" by Sugarland: Every time I hear this song I think of my dad. It perfectly captures the cycle of grief because for "every step I take that leads me away/ just circles back to your door/wishing I didn't love you anymore."

4. "I'm Alive" by Kenny Chesney: This song makes me appreciate life's small blessings.

5. "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley: The angels sang a whiskey lullaby after war and infidelity pulled two ill-fated lovers apart.

6. "Dance with My Father" by Luther Vanderos: To this day I can not listen to this song without feeling a strong urge to call my mother.

7. "Be Thou My Vision" Beautiful hymm, timeless classic. Reminds me where my focus should be.

8. "American Pie" by Don McLean: "Something touched me deep inside/ The day that music died."

9. "Break Each Other's Heart's Again" by Reba McEntire and Don Henley: Every time I hear this song I think of my sister.

10. "Right Side of Wrong" by Bon Jovi: Very similar to Bruce Springsteen's "Meeting's Across the River." I like the idea that a right side of wrong can exist because I have found that the world often operates in shades of gray.

11. "Micah 6:8" by Charlie Hall: The quissesential contemporary Protestant worship song.

12. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Glee Cast: I am obsessed with Glee. The reason I chose this song is because it epitomizes Spring 2010 semester as well as my current relationship with elliptical machines.

13. "Last of the American Girls" by Green Day: I hope I never stop putting my make-up on like grafetti on the walls of my heartland.

10 Favorite Quotes from Spring 2010

10. "Ireland has a really long history, and the Irish have really good memories."

9. " You're getting a shower tomorrow morning. You are going to my graduation, not Boy Scout camp."

8. "I owe Saint Michael about $10, 000, two children, a cat, a cow, and a chocolate bar."

7. "What would you do on a summers eve if you knew you were going to be young and beautiful forever?"

6. "I never wanted the stars/ never shot for the moon/ I like them right were they are/ All I

wanted was you." Lies.

5.“But I tell you-and you may mark my words- you will come some day to a craggy pass of the channel, where the whole of life’s stream will be broken up into whirl and tumult, foam and noise: either you will be dashed to atoms on crag points, or lifted up and borne on by some master wave into a calmer current-as I am now.”

4. "At the moment of surrender/Of vision over visibility/ I did not notice the passers-by/And they did not notice me."

3. Psalm 139

2. "When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist."

1. "We are His portion and He is our prize,/Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,/If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking./And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,/ And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,/I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,"

There Ain't No Cure for the Summer Time Blues

So I fail epically as a blogger. My last post was in January. January. It is now the end of April. Since January I have survived Snowmagetton, journeyed to Belfast and back, and wrote approximatly 100 pages for various classes. But you would know none of this from reading my blog. In the words of one of my room mates: that's crap.

Today I finished my last final for the Spring 2010 semester. It was for an astronomy course. And it was a cumulative multiple choice exam. For an English major, cumulative usually means writing about the novel as a whole versus focusing on a specific passage. Prior to this exam, I had not taken a multiple choice final since freshman year. I find it difficult to trust the validity of a test where the answers are always A-E.. But that's all done. My classes broadened my horizons. Living on my own gave me a better understanding of who I am as a person, etc. Now I have to wrap my mind around a new concept: summer.

Of the four seasons, summer is my least favorite. I'm not a big fan of free time, ackward family gatherings, or "fun" summer jobs. See, I still don't know what I want to do with my life after college. Envisioning the entire summer stretched out in front of my like the gulf of Mexico is not helping my anxiety. I really want to know what Mom tells people who ask her what I am going to do for a living. She seems to know better than I do at the moment.

I should be spending the summer studying for the GRE's, teaching Hatian orphans English, and learning how to read French. All while making enough money to pay for rent, groceries, and internet access next year. It would probably also be helpful if I made a list of my top ten graduate school programs and compiled an excel document to cross reference admissions requirements. Instead I am going to be scanning medical records for 25 hours a week and listening to Pandora internet radio until I can no longer stand to listen to Bruce Springsteen.

Hopefully tomorrow's post will be more cheerful. The end of the semester always puts me in a foul mood.

All the Single Ladies

This morning I was checking my Facebook and came across yet another "Look at me I'm engaged" photo album. It seems like all the cool kids these days are celebrating the beginning of their twenties by giving or receiving a diamond ring. Girls who used to post pictures of themselves building snowmen and burning batches of Christmas cookies with their friends now only post pictures of themselves and their significant other playing Scrabble. One of my friends from high school sought to combine her and her fiance's online identities by inadvertently reducing herself to half a Facebook profile. Another friend lists her fiance as her favorite activity and interest. And these are supposed to be the strong and independent women our mothers sought equal rights for? But that's a topic for another blog. What I'm interested in is why young women feel that getting married is the next logical step after graduating college?

Up until college graduation, the lives of most American young adults has followed a very linear path. We graduated from preschool, learned to play an instrument in elementary school, got dressed up for the eighth grade formal, fought with our parents in high school, then studied our behinds off in college. At each stage of our lives we knew which stage came next. College graduation marks the end of that line of thinking. Even those of us who know exactly which occupation we want to work in for the rest of our lives have trouble seeing ourselves 5, 10, or 15 years from now. Getting married young is a way to continue the linear thinking of our childhoods. We can then graduate from college, get married, have babies, and so on until the cycle repeats itself for our children.

Also, let's face it. College life can be very lonely. In high school we lived with people who for the most part loved us unconditionally. In college, we spend a lot of times by ourselves working and studying. I've seen many young women attatch themselves to a guy because it's easier than facing another Saturday night with nothing to do but watch Law and Order re-runs. But even if college life can be lonely, I've heard life in the 9-5 world can be even lonelier. Especially if one has to relocate to find a job. But it's during times of loneliness that we find out who we really are. Like Momma used to say: the best time to learn how to cook is when you're starving.

What I'm trying to say is that marriage should be more than just a check mark as we negotiate Erikson's stages of development. It's a life-long commitment that grows and matures as we do. That being said, I know few people capable of understanding the ramifications of "till death do us part" at 20. Having only lived for 20 years, 10 years feels like an eternity. Promising to love someone "in sickness and in health" is fine when your spouse has the flu for a week, but it's another matter entirely when your spouse is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I suggest we enjoy being "single ladies" until we understand what it means to "put a ring on it."

Resolutions for Spring 2010

In honor of the commencement of the Spring 2010 semester, I'm going to share with you my 10 goals for the semester. The beginning of a new semester always motivates me to set unrealistic goals for myself that I never accomplish. Like my goal to achieve an A in Intro to Poetry Writing. Despite the fact that my poetry skills are on the same level as Britney Spears song lyrics. But it's not the goals themselves that matter so much as the act of setting them. So here they are in no particular order.

1. Check out Fuel and Fuddle's half price menu. Side Note: I think F&F half price menu runs from 11:30pm t0 2am. I'm only conscious past 10pm on New Year's Eve or when I have the stomach flu. Not only will I have to be awake during the wee hours of the morning, I'm also going to have to eat and socialize. This should be interesting...

2. Figure out what the heck I'm going to do with my summer vacation. I'm a college junior so this coming summer will be my last official summer vacation. I do not want to spend it scanning medical records or serving french fries like I have in previous summers. I'd like to do more mission work (Should I go to Savannah, or Jamaica?) but I need to make money. I'd like to do an internship/research paper, but I'm not sure where. So this means I need to start thinking about I want to do with my fancy liberal arts education. Or start failing some courses.

3. Be a better roommate. I don't always remember when it's my week to take out the garbage or clean the bathtub. This semester I'm going to make more of an effort to do so. I'm also going to try to communicate better with my two roomies. This means I'm going to have to stop holding people (myself included) to such unrealistic expectations that no one can obtain.

4. Get my butt to Ireland for Spring Break. The trip's been planned for months. I've applied for my passport, and have been saving money all semester. I have finally convinced my mother that seeing the world is a necessary part of being an enlightened citizen. The only thing left to do is pray. Often.

5. Work on cutting the umbilical cord. First off, I love my mom. Maybe a little bit too much. I need to stop calling her every time something little goes wrong and start handling things for myself. Suggestions on how to do this would be much appreciated.

6. Attend a non-ballet cultural event. One of my roommates is a former ballerina and we go to the ballet at least once a semester. It's time to broaden my cultural horizons. I'd love to see a play. Or a musical. I might as well take advantage of the cheap seats offered to undergrads through Pitt Arts.

7. Accumulate $0 in fines at the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh.

8. Become a better cook/ eat a more well balanced diet. I think if I can accomplish the former, the latter will become easier.

9. Focus less on the letter grade I receive in a course and more so on the knowledge I gained from a course. I need to get it through my thick skull that the only one who cares about my GPA is me. I need to focus more on becoming a better team player, more organized, and more flexible.

10. Quit downloading music on iTunes everytime I feel happy, sad, aggravated, excited, depressed, creative, or moody. I need to start listening to the 2.4 days worth of music already on my iPhone before I download any more. I cleaned out myiTunes library over break and found about 50 songs I haven't listened to since 2007.

Living in the Land of the Oak

Happy New Year! I've never been a big fan of New Year's Resolutions. As a kid I would resolve to not eat chocolate for an entire year. My resolution usually lasted less than 24 hours. Then I'd always feel bad about my lack of self-discipline and vow never to make another resolution. But as I've established in an earlier post, I'm a masochist. This New Year I've decided that I'm going to keep a blog. I'm going to try to write in it daily. But definitely 2 or 3 times a week.

Today I'd like to talk about city life. The University of Pittsburgh Campus is located in the heart of Oakland, PA which is about a 20 minute drive from downtown Pittsburgh. In addition to Pitt, Oakland houses Carlow University and Carnegie Mellon University. It's also the headquarters of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center (UPMC). Pitt owns most of Oakland, but that is a topic for another blog. What I'm trying to illustrate is the urban nature of Oakland. Being home for Christmas Break has really made me appreciate the differences between urban and suburban.

Since I've had some time to think about it, being stuck in the middle of nowhere for the holidays, I've compiled my top ten list of why I love city life.

1. Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh. No where but in the city does one get to park oneself in a fluffy armchair surrounded by over 100 years of history while one cranks out a paper on the US Conservative Movement than in a city library.

2.Buses. Go ahead and laugh. Can't tell you how many jokes I've heard about Pittsburgh Port Authority recently. But when you're a college student dying to get out of Oakland for a couple of hours, there's not better method.

3.Someone shovels and salts the sidewalks for me in the winter.

4.I can see plays, ballets, concerts, and dance recitals by world class artists whenever the mood strikes. I've taken advantage of the discount tickets offered to students many times in the last couple years.

5.Mom and Pop owned businesses. There's a little Italian Grocery store down the street from me that makes me smile every time I walk past it.

6. I'm surrounded by interesting people. In any given semester I'll have a professor from Southern California, Chicago, London, Israel, and New Jersey. Walking in other people's shoes and learning to see the world through their eyes is what college is all about.

7. Cities have rich histories. As a history major I enjoy learning how about the people that helped make the city what it is today. Cities have multiple museums and archives that help in my quest for knowledge.

8. I don't have to cut the grass because I don't have any grass to cut.

9. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in 3 years.

10. Hot Chocolate always tastes better at Starbucks than when I make it at home!

So I'm a masochist

Hello, my name is Pitt Undergrad and I'm addicted to checking to see if my professors posted final grades.

This is particularly sad seeing as Fall Semester taught me how insignificant final grades are in the grand narrative that is my life. See, I had an ex-hippie English Professor from Southern California tell his Junior Seminar on the first day of class that he would not be grading them this semester. He felt that grading students turns them into demonized others while at the same time unfairly exalting the professor. Since he was not grading us, he felt it only fair that we only put as much effort into the course as we felt appropriate (read: NO 15 page research papers on what constitutes the trans-national novel). While my fellow English majors spent hours in the library researching symbolism in Frankenstein, I curled up with my laptop and a cup of hot cocoa and reflected on the weeks assigned reading. Since the university required my professor to grade us, he required us to produce some sort of response to the course that would automatically receive an A.

Telling that to a room full of type-A English Literature Majors (the majority of whom have had visions of graduate school dancing around in their heads since declaring the English major) caused several panic attacks. Our entire academic careers up until that point relied on the assumption that graduate schools and future employers care more about our GPA's than people skills. When I talked to other professors about my Junior Seminar professor's no-grading policy they either believed he was staging a communist revolution, or trying to get by doing the least possible amount of work. It never occurred to them that students possess the motivation to learn for the sake of learning. My classmates and I struggled for the first half of the semester trying to grasp just what it ment to learn for the sake of learning.

But throughout the course of the semester something strange happened. My classmates and I stopped looking at the novels we were reading for answers, and started looking at our own lives. I'll give you an example. When discussing The Virgin Suicides we had a lively class debate about gendered Halloween costumes. We questioned why girls found it acceptable to dress as "the morning after" (their boyfriend's polo, a pair of panties, and smeared lipstick) while boys dressed as monsters and pimps. We came to the conclusion that the gendered scripts our society forces us to internalize better explain why the Lisbon girls committed suicide more so than our initial assumption that the girls were just plain crazy.

So as I sit here waiting for the grades to come in on my other 4 course, I'm reminded that I need not derive my identity from a bunch of letters. I should evaluate the success of a semester by how much knowledge I gained, not by how high my GPA was. In the end, I'm not going to remember if I got an A- or a B+ in Bible as Literature, but I will remember the differences between the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament. And knowing the difference between Matthew's Jesus and John's Jesus makes for an interesting icebreaker.

That being said, it's time to pay my.pitt.edu a visit...